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The nursery audit · same audit, one room at the center

The most measured room in the house should be the smallest one.

You'll spend months optimizing a crib mattress. Nobody tells you whether the room's air is doing its job — while your baby spends more hours in there than anyone in the family spends anywhere. We measure it, overnight, and hand you the plan.

$395 for the full home, nursery at the center · payment after your audit

What we check

The nursery, measured like it matters

OVERNIGHT · CO₂

The whole night, logged

A silent, palm‑sized logger tracks CO₂, temperature, and humidity from lights‑out to morning. Closed nursery doors routinely drift past 1,500 ppm by 5 a.m. — stuffy, restless‑sleep territory. The fix is usually free: a door position, a vent, a fan setting.

TEMP · RH

Temperature & humidity stability

We check the room against the commonly cited pediatric comfort range (68–72°F) and the 30–50% humidity band — including how much it swings overnight, which a single thermostat reading never shows.

PM2.5

Particles, door open vs. closed

We measure fine particles in the nursery both ways, so you know what the room does on a normal night — and on a smoke day or when dinner's on the stove down the hall.

SIZING

Purifier & humidifier, sized to the room

Not “a good one” — the right clean‑air delivery rate for your actual cubic feet, placed where it works, quiet enough for sleep. If you already own one, we'll tell you honestly whether it's enough.

OFF‑GASSING

Paint, crib, and furniture guidance

New paint and fresh furniture release compounds that fade with time and ventilation. We give you the timing and airing‑out plan — honestly framed as guidance, since VOC lab speciation is outside a screening's scope. Our limits, in writing.

ADVICE

The monitor question, settled

Should you keep a monitor in the nursery? Sometimes. We'll tell you which kind is worth it for your room, which are decorative, and how to read the one you keep.

Our posture

Most nurseries need three cheap fixes, not a renovation.

That's the honest average, and we'd rather tell you the truth than sell you a scare. The point of measuring isn't to find monsters — it's to stop wondering. You have enough to wonder about.

If everything checks out, your report says so, plainly — and then you get to close that browser tab of 2 a.m. air‑quality forum threads forever.

Timing

When to schedule

Before the baby: the sweet spot is after the room is painted and furnished, before move‑in — you'll have time to air things out and make changes without a newborn in your arms. Second or third trimester works beautifully.

After the baby: completely fine. We work around naps, we're quiet, and the overnight logger does its job whether the crib is occupied or not.

Nursery questions

Asked by every parent, answered straight

What exactly sits in the room overnight?

A battery‑powered CO₂/temperature/humidity logger the size of a deck of cards. Silent. No camera, no microphone, no Wi‑Fi required. We place it, you sleep, we collect it the next day (or one day later, when a finding earns a free retest night).

We already painted. Is it too late?

No — emissions fade fastest in the first weeks, and ventilation accelerates it. We'll tell you where the room is in that curve and the fastest safe way through the rest of it.

Do you test for VOCs or chemicals?

Not in a screening — consumer VOC sensors aren't reliable enough to put a number in a paid report, and we won't pretend otherwise. You get honest guidance on sources, timing, and ventilation instead, and if your situation warrants lab‑grade specialist testing, we'll say so. More on our instruments and limits.

Can you come after the baby arrives?

Yes — quietly, around naps, shoe covers on. Three or four months in, when the sleep questions get serious, is a natural time.

Is this a separate service from the audit?

No — it's the same $395 audit with the nursery at the center. You still get the whole home: every room, the cooking test, filtration, alarms, and the optional water panel (+$195) — worth considering before formula and first foods.

Founding cohort · September

Set the room up once, correctly.

Request a September audit

$395 · payment after your audit · we reply within 48 hours